d u d e r n e t

Dream or nightmare?

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. -- So, I don't usually talk about things that are very personal here, but I've got to make an exception this time, just in the interest of prosperity.

Dreams are funny: The best ones, the ones from which you never want to wake, those memories disappear as soon as you open your eyes. Or shortly thereafter. But I had one the other night that still haunts me a bit; especially the detail with which I can recall everything days later.

I was living at home, but many of my friends lived nearby... As if I was still in high school, only we were all our current ages. And the district attorney held a press conference (Kwame-style) to announce my arrest. It seems I was caught as one of a trio for plotting to -- and perhaps more than that -- rob a bank.

The press conference was at night, but I couldn't -- for some reason -- turn myself in until the next afternoon. So, I broke the news to my mom when she got home and then started really thinking about what life would be like spending the next few decades behind bars.

And that was weird, too, because there was no doubt in my mind that's what was going to happen. There was no escaping it, no hope of being found not guilty. Because I was guilty of whatever they'd accused me of, simple as that.

But the bulk of the dream was the next day, when I would ultimately turn myself in. My friend Chris agreed to hang out with me on my last day as a free man, and we spent it walking around the little town I'm from.

People stared, and gawked, and whispered, wondering what a scumbag like me was still doing walking among the free. And the last real memory of the dream was this:

I had to read the newspaper story about my pending arrest, but all the papers in our town were sold out, this was such a huge scandal. So, Chris and I went to the library to look at that day's paper on microfiche (!). And, as he looked over my shoulder, the last thing I remember was being disappointed it was an AP report.

So. I'm sure that says many things about the many ways in which I'm an effed up human being. But mostly, what was so terrifying, was how real this dream was. When I finally awoke from it in the wee hours in my Tallahassee hotel room, I actually said aloud, "Oh, thank God!" Probably the most real dream I've ever had. Why can't the good ones feel that legit?

Hello, Florida; Goodbye, Handful Of Southern States I Will Probably Never Visit Again

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. -- A blissfully easy drive today, from Baton Rouge through the rest of Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama before crossing into my new state. Now all that's left is the 7 (or so)- hour journey to Hollywood and my home for now.

I sadly left Texas without partaking in the Taco Cabana, at which I planned to hugely over-order, so as to savor its goodness for many miles. Alas. My body thanks the Taco Cabana executives who stayed largely off the East Texas I-10 corridor.

The highlight of the trip was certainly my two days in Austin. One spent relaxing and another spent drinking with great people, listening to great music and eating great food. It was so much fun to see Laura again, and it was as if we'd gone out the day before... not let nine years pass without seeing each other.

By the way, if you find you find yourself in Austin, make it your duty to see whoever is playing at the Mohawk, which is, without doubt, the most fabulous bar I've ever set foot in, anywhere in this country of ours. Plus, Lone Star tall-boys. Just saying.

Anyhoo. I should get to bed, but as Borat is on the telly, that seems unlikely. Enjoy the crappy photo of Louisiana swampland/marshland/bay/ocean/whatever I snapped while driving yesterday. It's really a shame it's so hard to take good pictures while driving.

On the road again (and again, and again)

AUSTIN -- Well, a week later than planned, and after the big show has long since ended, here I am... the result of a grueling drive from El Paso that started this morning and ended only a few hours ago. (I shudder to think what kind of mess I'd be if I'd done the originally-planned Tucson-to-Austin drive last week.)

I'm staying an extra night here, to better absorb a little Austin nightlife on Saturday, and to have time to lunch and drink with my good buddy Laura, who I haven't seen since shortly after my San Antonio stint ended. Then it's off to New Orleans for a night (or probably two), and then, finally, Florida. Home sweet 3,300-miles-later  home.

A quick recap of the trip so far:

Day One: Drive from home to Palm Springs was surprisingly painless, as I hit the road early enough to avoid both Sacramento morning rush-hour traffic and L.A.-area afternoon rush-hour traffic.

Day Two: Shortest drive of the trip, a leisurely jaunt to Scottsdale, to see the Cubs play the Giants in a sold-out Spring Training game. (Cubs win! Cubs win!) Good times, but pretty crap crowd. Maybe that's typical of spring games; maybe not. Lots of Cubs fans, and a great, great seat (two rows behind Chicago dugout; to get an idea of how close that was, the above photo was taken while seated, with a short [85mm] lens).

Day Three: Longish, and full-of-nothing drive to El Paso, free of traffic 'til I actually hit El Paso itself. Of course my hotel was on the east side of town, so I sat through about an hour of stop-and-go after flying through Arizona and New Mexico. Cheapest gas of the trip came in Arizona: $3.09/gallon. Also most expensive cigarettes at a 7/Eleven: $5.59/pack.

Day Four: The aforementioned way-too-long drive here, and mostly I blame Google Maps for directing me to take what surely was not the fastest route by spending the last 110 miles on a teeny mostly-two-lane "highway" from I-10 to Austin. Cripes. But now I shall spend tomorrow nursing my driving-related shoulder injury by the pool and in bars.

South by Not Me

So, my best-laid SXSW plans have gone down the crapper, and I've had to cancel my trip to Austin for the nation's best music festival. I'm more than a little disappointed I won't get to spend time with some great bands, but there's always next year, yes? Yes.

Some unforeseen moving complications have reared their ugly heads, and my drive out of California won't likely start 'til Monday now. Which at least gives me one more weekend to enjoy all that California has to offer. The current itinerary sets a leisurely pace, with overnight stops in Palm Springs, El Paso, Austin, New Orleans (for, I think, a few nights) and Gainesville before rolling into Fort Lauderdale.

I'll be posting here at each stop, hopefully with some visual aids. But until then, the packing continues.